Snow!

Sassypants got her first real look at snow. We had plenty last winter, but she had no clue. She loved touching it this morning.

Still a Redhead!

This is from a failed attempt at a contest submission. I realized after I took the photo that I couldn't have a licensed character on her clothes for the entry. Guess I'll have to try again!

Hungry Girl... and then I went on a tangent

Miss B has been sleeping through the night with no dream feed for about 2 months now, I guess. It's soooo nice to go to bed at 9pm if I want and not have to worry about feeding her. However, twice this week now she's needed a bottle. Once at 11pm, and last night at midnight.

The first night I didn't realize she was hungry and just kept trying to soothe her. When nothing worked, the husband got the bottle she hadn't finished before bed. (Yes, she still gets a bottle at bedtime. It's just a part of our routine that I'm not ready to give up. B probably is, but not me.) She sucked down the 2 or 3 ounces of milk left in there and was looking for more, so we gave her another 3 or so. She went right back to sleep when she was done. Woot!

Last night she woke up at 12. I had just fallen asleep, so I went right for the solution that worked the night before - a bottle of milk. JB got her out of the crib while I filled a bottle. I came back and B started chatting it up. "Hi! Hi? Hiiiiiii." Sorry, kid, cute does not work at that hour, especially when Momma isn't feeling good. Just drink your milk! She settled in and started drinking right away.

While she was drinking I realized how big she'd gotten recently. Yesterday I put a pair of Gap jeans on her that were 6-12 months and they were tight at the waist, and way too short. They were still too long and too big last week! All of her 6-12 tee shirts are suddenly belly shirts, too. She's still got some smaller things that she fits in, like 9 month size Carter's onesies, and a few 12 month shirts from sets, but I don't really want her wearing just tops from matched sets because I don't want the shirts wearing before the pants.

There are 5 or 6 bins of baby clothes all stacked up in our bedroom. I've pretty much come to terms with being done having babies, and I'm pretty sure my bff, sister and sister-in-law are, too, so I'm considering selling them. We don't have any consignment shops nearby, and many friends have told me that you don't make much that way anyway, so that's out. I'd love to have a yard sale, but we don't have a yard or anywhere else to set up. I think yard sale season might be over anyway, and we're so busy we wouldn't be able to do it until a few weeks from now anyway. I think I might go the way of craigslist and sell lots of items. The prospect of cash right before the holidays sounds good to me. Whatever doesn't sell that way I'll donate. At least we'll get the tax write-off, and someone that needs the clothes can use them. What worries me about craigslist is actually selling it. I've already tried to sell a travel swing and bouncy seat, and didn't even get one email on them. Maybe I was overpriced, but I looked at other ads for similar items to price it, and you'd think I'd at least get some lowball offers. I ended up giving the swing to my cousin, but I still have the bouncy. I want to get rid of stuff before we move! At least the clothes are packed up, but OMG now that I'm thinking about all the other baby stuff that isn't packed and I don't have boxes for... ugh!

Crybaby

One of the worst days ever. I've recently been on my own a lot with B because the boy has been working a lot. Working a lot is great for me, because it just means more time I don't have to get a job, but working a lot sucks for me because taking care of a super active one year old is hard!

B isn't a crier at all. Today? Three hours straight of crying. Complete with a gloriously snotty nose, big fat tears, drooling, clinging... the works. The only thing that consoled her was letting her play with my cell phone. Then when that didn't work anymore I took her in for a diaper change. That also tends to get her refocused when she's having a moment, but this time? She fell asleep... STILL CRYING!

The poor thing. She was just overtired because she didn't nap well today at all. She completely refused dinner, but sucked down a bottle of milk... while still crying!.. in no time flat, then went right to sleep. She was out before 6pm. it's almost 11pm now, and I still haven't heard a peep from her.

I'm sure I just doomed myself to a long night and early morning.

Today

I don't know why this year is the hardest for me yet. Maybe it's my recent elevated anxiety (which has been in much better control lately), maybe it's because while it's the second year with a child, last year she was still a wee newborn and too much of a handful to dwell on the day. This year I have an easygoing toddler, and my mind has the freedom and time to wander more. Maybe it's the elevated tensions of the "Mosque at Ground Zero" issue, or the jackhole Koran-burning "Christian." Maybe it's because my husband is a block from where he was that day, and that wasn't a good place.

I hope my child never has to wittness a day like the one we remember today.

AARRRRGGHHHHH!

Girlfriend has learned to scream. Hold me. It's not cute little baby crying at the top of her lungs screaming. It's all out, "OMG I'M BEING MURDERED UP IN HERE!" style screaming. People in the general vicinity who don't realize there's a baby here must surely think there's some sort of torture going on in the neighborhood. The neighbors upstairs just moved out 2 weeks ago; I hope the new ones are prepared. They're in luck anyway - we're about to move, too. Howdy new neighbors! Enjoy the ear piercing screams! I'm already mortified.

Click!

It's amazing how everything has clicked for Sassy since she turned one. No more bottles, no more baby food (she refused most table food before unless it was mashed beyond recognition), she's just about walking! Best of all, no more 11pm feeding. We'd tried several times to see if she whether she'd wake up or not if we didn't dream feed her, and she never made it through. Most times she woke up just around 11 anyway, and once made it to 12:30. All of a sudden the other night she flipped the hell out when we got her up for her bottle, so we put her right back down and she went back to sleep. The next night - same thing. She cried and screamed, and slapped the bottle away. The next night I filled a bottle with milk, put it in a cooler bag next to the bed, fully expecting her to wake up. Nothing. Monday night - same thing. Last night I finally said I wasn't wasting another 6 ounces of milk (it's too warm in the morning for me to be comfortable giving to her). I'd get up and fill a bottle if she needed it. Nothing.

This is awesome!

One year!

How did we get from this



to this?!



Happy Birthday, sweet girl! You make every day worth living!

That wasn't fun

Two weeks ago, the boy and I both woke up feeling really shitty. My throat didn't hurt but I couldn't swallow, and I was just exhausted. Ok, exhausted more than usual. I felt bad enough to go right to the walk-in doctor as soon as they opened. DH didn't go, but he did have a fever. The next morning he went to the same doctor, and while I was there they called me with the results of my strep test. Positive.

B had been slightly feverish, and had a runny nose the week before. Never more than 101.1, and she was mostly herself. We'd also been to the ped for her 9 month check up and I told him about the fever. He said she seemed fine, there were no signs of anything, so don't worry unless the fever got high.

With me having strep, DH probably having it, I wasn't taking a chance. I called the ped and got an appointment for later that morning. Just my luck, Dr. K walked in. Grrrr. I told him her symptoms from the week before, and that I was just confirmed with strep, and that DH likely had it. Before I could finish talking he told me, "Babies don't get strep." He had her swabbed anyway and I waited for the quick results. (Of course he didn't tell me why I was waiting, he just left and said he'd be back. Oh joy.) The quick test came back negative, and he sent me on my way.

Three days later the ped office called. Positive for strep. Three days! Why was my test and DH's test back in 24 hours? I was fuming. I was fuming at how he dismissed me, at how he treated me, and at how long it took for them to get back to me with the results. I ran out in my strep-induced stupor (I was completely dysfunctional, DH even more so because he's a man, after all) and got a prescription for her. Good old pink bubblegum tasting amoxicillan. Aahh memories.

Today was the last day of her antibiotics, and it didn't end soon enough. Her sleep has been awful, her appetite either nil or ravenous, and the ravenous, when it happens, happens every 2 hours all night long and is accompanied by the worst crying you've ever heard. She cries a lot, too. ;-)

Not recommended

Pooping in the tub. Gross. Especially when you're doing bathtime solo. It was made even worse by the fact that she was getting a menthol bath because she's got a cold. Poop + menthol x water = oh holy freaking gross. We've been using the Safety First Bath Seat, and once I got B all cleaned up and into the exersaucer for safe keeping, I had to pick poop out of all the grooves and crevices of the seat. Soft, mentholy, wet poop. Gag. Gag gag gag gag gag! The tub, tub toys, and seat were bleached within an inch of their lives, and I almost never use bleach. In fact, I no longer had a big bottle of Clorox around, and had to use a spray bottle of bleach bathroom cleaner that I only happened to have until it was finished because I've been using vinegar to clean for the most part. So, yeah, bleached everything, then soaked everything in the tub with vinegar to get the nasty bleachiness off of it.

I hope that was the first and last time for that bit of fun.

No time to post, I'm chasing a baby!

Sometimes at nap time or bed time I just need to sit here and relish the silence and calm. Life with an eight month old is anything but.

At B's six month checkup I was worried that she could only roll in one direction, and couldn't sit on her own at all for even a second. Here we are two months later and she can sit, scoot on her butt, almost crawl, turn, throw things, and grab anything in her reach. She can also cruise along the sofa and ottoman if I stand her up. She'll pull herself up on me if I'm sitting on the floor with her, and I caught her trying to pull herself up in the crib the other day. She hasn't really tried it on the furniture yet, but as I sit here watching her as I type, she pulled herself up from sitting to standing with the use of her toy chest. Heart attack time.

As for the throwing... OMG. I'm just waiting for something to go through the TV. Living in a tiny NYC apartment, things are tight, so the TV is never far from throwing distance. I've thought about mounting it higher up, but our walls are either steel and some sort of material we've tried to drill into and can't, or cardboard, so I don't think mounting is a possibility.

Really, she's such a pleasure. She's content, giggly, smiley, and adorable. I could sit and watch her all day, and generally, I do. She "dances" when she hears music, and "sings" when we get in the car. She travels well, and sleeps easily in new places. Last week I went to see my sister and it was so fun to watch her with my 15 month old nephew. This weekend we'll be seeing him again, along with my 11, 12, and 14 month old cousins. It seems like a lifetime ago that I would have been avoiding this upcoming weekend like the plague.

But sometimes no news is good news!

Congratulations to B at no news isn't always good news, and her husband C on the arrival of beautiful Charlotte Joan! I'd been waiting in anticipation for days since her water broke on Sunday.

Congratulations, and welcome to the world, Charlotte!

Clarification

If anyone is wondering what the hubbub is all about in the comments on my previous post...

Sara Staker is a woman who let her 18 month old child drown.

Some of her followers who have commented below allude to her "turning her head for a second," but by Sara's own admission in her blog, she did not merely turn her head. She left the room while her children were in the bathtub.

I started their water.
I put them in the tub with their fish toys and their boats.
I set out their towels. I played with them a few minutes while the tub filled.
I ran their water a few inches deep. I turned off the faucet.
I poked my head around the corner into our bedroom to check on Trevan.
I told him he looked cold and suggested he go get his pajamas on.
He said he was too tired to go get them.
And... so I left...
Which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life...
I should have been more attentive.
I should never have walked away from that tub....
I walked down the hallway to Trevan and Daynen's room to get Trevan his pajamas.
I should have come straight back...
But I noticed Daynen's bed was still unmade.
And I saw the Laundry basket full of clean clothes
that Matt had carefully set on the end of the bed that morning,
ready to be put away when Trevan did his chores.
So I thought I'd be nice and do it for him.
I took the shirts Matt had hooked over the side and hung them on the rod in Trevan's closet.
I took the folded stack of jeans and placed them on the shelf.
I straightened the row of shoes on the floor.
While I was in the closet, I got out a diaper and onesie
so I could get Daynen dressed when I got him out of the tub.
I closed the closet door...
Basket in hand, I stepped over to the dresser to put away the socks and underwear.
I heard a muffled shout from Trevan.
I set the basket down, alarmed.
Then Trevan came running,
"Mom! Mom! Bronson drowned in the tub! I think he's dead!"
I ran.
It was very far to the bathtub.
He was floating on his back. White. Lips blue. Eyes rolled back. Gone.

That is not turning your head for a second. She was gone for minutes. That is carelessness. Negligence. Criminal.

She wrote the above a day or two after the incident while her child was still in the hospital. It's a lengthy, verbose description of the events of the day, which include telling off a police detective who dared to want to question her about the drowning. Add a charge of Obstruction of Justice to the charge of Reckless Engangerment of a Child. Oh, that's right, she's not being charged with anything.

Bronson did live. Through the miracle of modern medicine. A miracle of God? No. I believe in God. I believe miracles can happen. Had Bronson suddenly sat up after having CPR administered, sure, that would have been a miracle. Instead, Bronson had an experimental procedure performed on him, and was in a coma for thirteen days. That is medicine. Bronson doesn't appear to have any brain damage. Ok, that's a miracle. His life, I believe, is due to modern medicine, and nothing more.

I do not hate Mormons. I am not jealous. I'm not full of hate, angry, or whatever else the pollyanna commenters on my blog and Sara's blog have said. That's nonsense. The comments on the story from the Today Show that I've linked to above pretty much concur with what I feel. Yes, I do believe Sara Staker needs to be held responsible. I do believe that if she was not a member of such a tight-knit community in Salt Lake City, and instead a poor woman in the inner city somewhere, that she would be behind bars right now.

Options

I belong to a private forum of women who are TTC/Pregnant/Mommies. We began as strangers on a public message board when we were all getting marrried, and many of us evolved into this private forum now. So, we've grown to know each other very well. We've been there through births, losses, struggles, death. We've had members who lost their infants, and members with children with cancer. We also have quite a number of members who are struggling to conceive.

Yesterday a member who is pregnant with baby number three wrote that at her 18 week ultrasound, they discovered her child MIGHT have a club foot. She's beside herself. Worried how her child won't be perfect, and she's stunned, and she just wants to go back to her normal life. Overreaction, much? No. Oh no. Not even close to an overreaction compared to her husband. Her husband is "very upset and thinks they can't handle it and they should think about options." Are you fucking for real? REALLY? Considering "options" over a club foot? Something that can be fixed with a brace or surgery? Never mind the fact that it hasn't even been confirmed, it's only a possibility.

There are several members that are very upset, myself included. There are several members that are still struggling that would do anything to have that child. We've questioned her what exactly she means by "options" but hasn't answered us. I'll be shocked if she does. I'll be shocked if she shows her face there again, yet I won't be shocked if she does show up there again and not a word is uttered about this.

Memories

My baby smells like my Grandmother. Not constantly, but every once in a while I get a whiff of Grandma's Ivory soap that she always used. I've never bought Ivory soap or any other Ivory products, and all of the soaps and detergents I use on B are unscented. I first noticed it last night as I was giving her her last bottle before putting her to bed for the evening, and it brought me to tears. Just a few minutes ago when I put her down in her exersaucer so I could check my email and have a much-needed cup of coffee, I smelled it again. At this moment she's talking to someone or something up near the ceiling, occasionally reaching for it as it seems to move around, and although she's about 5 feet away from me, I can smell Ivory.

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm just missing her and my dad terribly and I'm grasping at straws here. She's been gone for a little over 9 years now. I really hope B has the same wonderful relationship with my mom as I had with my Grandmother, and that she has her in her life for even longer than I did.

Airport Security

3:15am Saturday morning we woke up to head to the airport to fly to Florida. This was after a 2 hour car ride to get to the airport, and a night in a hotel. I was exhausted to say the least. Seven of us got to the airport at about 5am for a 7am flight. Four adults, one 5 year old, a 22 month old, and a 6 month old. Our little family of 3 took up 6 bins at security. Then, as usual, I set off the metal detector. It's always my underwire. Always. They always insist it's not, and then then wand me, and guess what? It is my underwire. So, B and I are in the little wanding area, the rest of our group is repacking all our bags and theirs, and the TSA agent is being a chattering conversationalist. We got to our gate as they were calling the third group for boarding.

That alone was reason enough to do nothing for the next 7 days.

I think I hate the pediatrician

Bonus: it's not just one doctor, it's an entire practice of 7 doctors.

I took B for her 6 month well-check the other day, and I had a few questions and very mild concerns. I left feeling like I come from another planet.

First we'll start with Dr. K. As of 2 weeks ago, B's chart is marked that she is never to see him. My extreme dislike of him started at her very first visit at 5 days old. He's always come off as arrogant, and has a terrible bedside manner. The final straw was at the appointment 2 weeks ago, which was for shots. I asked him when she would get the chicken pox vax, and then said I was considering not giving it to her. He pretty much called me stupid. "That would be a dumb thing to do. Don't you know what the risks of chicken pox are? She could die!" Look dickhead, people have been getting chicken pox for years and living. Death is rare. I had it, the husband had it, millions of people my age had it, and we're still here to tell the tale. It's fine if the doctor disagrees with me on whether to give it to her or not, but to not discuss my concerns with me is not acceptable. Being that it wasn't the first or second or third time I didn't like the way this doctor spoke to me, I'd had enough.

Yesterday at her well-check, the Dr. C, whom I'd liked in the past, suggested I start giving B eggs so that she can have the flu shot, specifically the H1N1 shot. So, I asked if I should give her the whole egg, or just the yolk. I'd read, and know from friends, that most doctors suggest not giving egg white before a year because they can trigger allergies. Dr. C said he'd never heard of that, and just go ahead and give her the whole egg. Ok, then. So, then I expressed my concern with giving her the H1N1 shot, and I said I wasn't really comfortable with it. I didn't get it myself, I didn't get a regular flu shot, and neither did the husband. Again, instead of addressing my concerns, he steamrolled right over me and said to make an appointment for 2-3 weeks after I've given her eggs for her to have the H1N1 shot. Another strike.

I then asked about Dr. Sears' dosage for Tylenol, because his chart indicates a bit more than the practice had advised me to give her. Dr. C had no idea who Dr. Sears is. For real? Then he mumbles something about how many milliliters in suspension per kilo she could have if i really felt like she needed it, but really all I heard was "blah blah blah just give her what I told you and stop asking silly questions." Never heard of Dr. Sears. I was stunned.

My last "big" issue from the visit is more that I didn't get an answer that I wanted to hear, but it's enough to bother me. We'll be going to Florida soon, and I wanted to know if there was any particular sunscreen he recommended for her. I was hoping to hear some all-natural, good for babies brand. Instead, he told me to just go to Target and the store brand marked for "sensitive skin" would be just fine. Really? I mean, yeah, I know it's fine, but I'm a little more concerned than that about putting chemicals on her skin. This is more my own issue. I know this. I'm not full on nutty-crunchy-I only shop at Whole Foods-granola, but I do try to only give B organic food, and use all-natural products, or at least the least-harmful chemicals, as often as possible. There have been other things in the past that this particular doctor said to use, like baby oil, which most doctors frown upon these days for whatever reason, that really surprised me, so this was yet another straw on the camel's back.

I told the husband about these things, and a few others, when I got home, and he thinks I'm being a little too sensitive. Ok, sometimes I am too sensitive, but I don't think this is a case. He agrees with me on the H1N1 shot, and I think I'm going to cancel that appointment. She needs a few boosters before her next well-check, so I'm going to go through with those, and then hubs is going to come with me to her 9 month well-check and do some question asking of his own, so he can gauge their concern. (Yeah, right, I want to see him ask a question! When that man isn't at work he shuts it like a clam.) I don't want to look for a new pediatrician, but I have a feeling I will be.

Growing so fast!

Last week I finally retired her last two pais of size 0-3month pajamas because she couldn't really straighten her legs out in them. The 3-6 month pjs were still huge on her. Tonight I put on a pair of pajamas that just last week were too big. Her feet didn't quite reach the pj feet, and the sleeves were way too long. Now the length is perfect for her, and I only had to fold the cuff once. I know they didn't shrink because they're fleece, and they've already been washed a few times. I'm squeezing her into these as long as I can because I don't want to have to buy pajamas for winter and only have her wear them for a week or two before she's ready for summer pjs, since we seem to go from freezing winter to sweltering summer so quickly here in NYC the last few years. (Wait, that's not true. We had a mild summer last year. I'd really like that again. I don't think we had the air conditioner on until August last year. My electric bill was happy!)

All the colors of the rainbow

Peas and green beans = green poop

Carrots = orange poop

Insanity, Remembered

I have heartburn from tonight's dinner, and remembered a bit of insanity from my insane delivery. I had horrendous heartburn throughout my pregnancy, and carried around the largest size Tums they sell in Target because I ate them so often. While in labor I was dying of heartburn and it was taking forever for a doctor to approve something for me to take. I begged them to let me have some of my own Tums, but they had to get a doctor to approve that as well. Finally I begged my husband to just give me one... just one... please! It was the second best thing I ate during that ordeal.

Who Stole My Sleeper?

O.M.G. The screaming. The crying. The little eyes staring at me!

B has been a great sleeper pretty much since she was 2 weeks old. Until the last few days. Oh holy hell in a 14 pound body. We've been putting her to bed at 6ish, like we've been doing for 5 months. She falls asleep right away. Tonight she even fell asleep in my arms while I was feeding her at about 5:30. Two hours later... the screaming! Last night I was ready to get in the car at midnight and just drive around when she finally fell asleep.

Even now as I type this, she's out here in the living room in the exersaucer chatting away to herself and all the toys on it, because putting her in the crib just results in a tear fest, and I'm pretty sure the neighbor upstairs doesn't really want to vacuum again tonight like he has for the last three nights, presumably to drown out the screams. I'll be baking him cookies as an apology asap.

I think it's got something to do with solids. We started them last week, and it's totally messed up her eating schedule. I've got to nail down a new one before I lose my mind. She was ok the first few days, but now she's up to 2 tablespoons 3 times a day, and then doesn't want to drink. The pediatrician recommended giving her the solids, then a bottle, but she has no interest in the bottle if I do that. Switch it around, and no interest in food. I've got to space them out. That starts tomorrow.