Tuesday, March 16, 2010


If anyone is wondering what the hubbub is all about in the comments on my previous post...

Sara Staker is a woman who let her 18 month old child drown.

Some of her followers who have commented below allude to her "turning her head for a second," but by Sara's own admission in her blog, she did not merely turn her head. She left the room while her children were in the bathtub.

I started their water.
I put them in the tub with their fish toys and their boats.
I set out their towels. I played with them a few minutes while the tub filled.
I ran their water a few inches deep. I turned off the faucet.
I poked my head around the corner into our bedroom to check on Trevan.
I told him he looked cold and suggested he go get his pajamas on.
He said he was too tired to go get them.
And... so I left...
Which turned out to be the biggest mistake of my life...
I should have been more attentive.
I should never have walked away from that tub....
I walked down the hallway to Trevan and Daynen's room to get Trevan his pajamas.
I should have come straight back...
But I noticed Daynen's bed was still unmade.
And I saw the Laundry basket full of clean clothes
that Matt had carefully set on the end of the bed that morning,
ready to be put away when Trevan did his chores.
So I thought I'd be nice and do it for him.
I took the shirts Matt had hooked over the side and hung them on the rod in Trevan's closet.
I took the folded stack of jeans and placed them on the shelf.
I straightened the row of shoes on the floor.
While I was in the closet, I got out a diaper and onesie
so I could get Daynen dressed when I got him out of the tub.
I closed the closet door...
Basket in hand, I stepped over to the dresser to put away the socks and underwear.
I heard a muffled shout from Trevan.
I set the basket down, alarmed.
Then Trevan came running,
"Mom! Mom! Bronson drowned in the tub! I think he's dead!"
I ran.
It was very far to the bathtub.
He was floating on his back. White. Lips blue. Eyes rolled back. Gone.

That is not turning your head for a second. She was gone for minutes. That is carelessness. Negligence. Criminal.

She wrote the above a day or two after the incident while her child was still in the hospital. It's a lengthy, verbose description of the events of the day, which include telling off a police detective who dared to want to question her about the drowning. Add a charge of Obstruction of Justice to the charge of Reckless Engangerment of a Child. Oh, that's right, she's not being charged with anything.

Bronson did live. Through the miracle of modern medicine. A miracle of God? No. I believe in God. I believe miracles can happen. Had Bronson suddenly sat up after having CPR administered, sure, that would have been a miracle. Instead, Bronson had an experimental procedure performed on him, and was in a coma for thirteen days. That is medicine. Bronson doesn't appear to have any brain damage. Ok, that's a miracle. His life, I believe, is due to modern medicine, and nothing more.

I do not hate Mormons. I am not jealous. I'm not full of hate, angry, or whatever else the pollyanna commenters on my blog and Sara's blog have said. That's nonsense. The comments on the story from the Today Show that I've linked to above pretty much concur with what I feel. Yes, I do believe Sara Staker needs to be held responsible. I do believe that if she was not a member of such a tight-knit community in Salt Lake City, and instead a poor woman in the inner city somewhere, that she would be behind bars right now.


Shannon Kilstrom Photography said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heidi said...

Wow. Just wow. I can't see how you people think that Irish needs love and more God in her life. Have you read her blog at all? She is an amazing woman. What do you know about her? Obviously nothing. You are reading the blog of a woman who has had her heart ripped out by infertility and got the most wonderful blessing that anyone can have at the end of it all, her beautiful daughter.

And then she reached out to help other infertile women, me included. She donated all of her leftover fertility medications, OVER $10,000 worth. Refused to accept any payment for it.

And here you all are defending a woman who neglected her son. Basically left him to die. Yes, her story has a happy ending, thanks to the miracle that is modern medicine.

I simply don't see how you all don't see that she left her child to die. She got distracted by laundry. Folding her laundry was more important to her than making sure her child stayed alive. Laundry should NEVER be more important than a child.

Lori and I may just have a better understanding of how important children are. We have worked so hard to have them. In fact I haven't even been lucky enough to bring one into the world yet. I just don't see how you can be all proud of this woman for letting her child drown. I don't get it.

I am thrilled to bits that he lived. I am thankful beyond words that the doctors were able to save her. I hope that this wakes her up because I am willing to bet that this wasn't the first time that she has neglected her children, but I'm hoping this is the last.

Erin said...

Heidi, my heart breaks for both of you. I have never experienced the pain of infertility but can only imagine what a difficult road that must be. I'm truly sorry you have had to go through that.

Yes, Sara was negligent and she knows it. We all know it. My question is, what is the satisfaction in telling someone, who is already experiencing unimaginable pain, how horrible and negligent they are, therefore causing more pain?

IrishNYC said...
"You really should be in jail and not glorifying your own negligence on television.

If you believe God saved your son, then surely it was God's will he drown in the first place, no? Or was it God's will that made you forget your baby in the bathtub in the first place?

Either way, you need to be locked up."

Not the statement of someone who is at peace with their life and who is truly happy, IMO.

As moms and future moms it's our responsibility to support, defend, and strengthen each other. I think it's great you've had support by other women who've been in your shoes. I'm sure it helps tremendously! But, with all due respect, you've thankfully never had to walk in the shoes of any woman who has had a baby drown. Sara's not the first and she certainly won't be the last. I find that I achieve WAY more when I'm supportive, compassionate, and understanding. I get nowhere when I'm judgemental, critical, and hurtful.
Just food for thought.
Best of luck to both of you and God bless.

IrishNYC said...

Erin said:

"I find that I achieve WAY more when I'm supportive, compassionate, and understanding. I get nowhere when I'm judgemental, critical, and hurtful.
Just food for thought."

But it's ok for you to tell me over and over again that I'm not at peace with my life, and I'm angry? The only thing I'm angry about is that Sara has not been prosecuted.

So, until your support, compassion, and understanding applies to everyone, including my opinions, I suggest you take your rhetoric elsewhere. Until then, keep your own anger and negativity towards me off my blog.

IrishNYC said...

And, Erin, maybe you want to ask yourself why you feel the need to keep coming in here and blathering on and on and chastising me for the 3 or 4 sentences I wrote on Sara's blog. Don't you have anything better to do with your time? What are you so unhappy about that you need to lecture me on what a wonderful woman Sara is? Why so defensive about her? What are YOU so angry and unhappy about? What are you jealous of?

MiNdY said...

"Until then, keep your own anger and negativity towards me off my blog."

Maybe you should take your own advice.