Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A Heavy Heart (Very sensitive)

This has been a rough week in my circle of friends. One friend lost her mother unexpectedly, another lost her mother-in-law after a long battle with cancer. There is one loss, however, that I just can't, in my worst nightmare, grasp.

My friend M lost her sweet daughter today. L was 14 days old and died of congestive heart failure. I just cannot wrap my head around this. I cannot imagine how I could go on. I can't stop picturing my own child in a scene too awful to even describe, yet it just keeps playing in my head. My heart is broken in a million pieces for M, her husband and their son.

Sadly, M isn't the only friend I have that's lost their child. Another friend lost her 3 month old to SIDS. Another lost her newborn to Trisomy-18. Just this summer my friend A lost her son in her 20th week of her pregnancy to a cord accident. And Heidi, who lost her son Blue at 17 weeks gestation. My heart breaks for all of these wonderful women who have been there for me through my fertility struggles, and watch my daughter grow.

My heart was heavy as I put my daughter to bed tonight. I hugged her a little more, kissed her a few extra times, and had a bit more patience as she cried. I hope I never have to see her go, and I hope it's a very long time before she says goodbye to me.

Much love to all my friends near and far tonight.

1 comment:

heidi said...

I am at a loss for words over all of this. It is amazing to me how the pain of someone I have never met has set so deep into my bones.

<3 Thank you for thinking of me and my Blue also <3